It's
Jesusses birthday. He died for your sins but he was born to rock.
A picture of my holiday tree, and a
pic of my holiday donut.
This is Annie's Donuts, on Sandy and 72nd in
Portland, the place where I got my holiday donut, and home of the best donuts
in town. I know the sign says this, but it really is true.
Although that really isn’t saying much, since the donuts of Portland pretty much suck. Don’t get me wrong -- I love this town, but really, the donuts suck in Portland. Who can resist a talking donut though?
This is a worried Santa.
I got this as a gift, on top of a
tube full of Reese's Peanutbutter Cups. But the eyes were extremely small and
it made Santa look like he was stoned on rock cocaine.
I didn’t like this but I wanted to hang it on my Xmas tree,
so I took my Sharpie marker to the eyes to make them look larger. Unfortunately
in the process I ended up darkening the eyebrows, too, which ended up making
Santa look worried and full of holiday angst.
This is the last thing anyone needs
during the holidays. I mean, you want to think of Santa as having it all
together, and that even if he was worried, he'd feign confidence and jolliness,
and keep his existential crises to himself.
I will keep this Santa now because I
have immortalized him here, but the truth is that I would rather have a
coked-up Santa on my tree instead of one who reminds me of the instability of
life in general and the holidays in specific. Perhaps he just looks too much
like Ray Liotta.
email me at steve at foojang dot com
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